Choosing Joy
I titled this post Choosing Joy largely because of the season we currently find ourselves in. Also, because it's so much shorter than, Finding Every Single bit of Silver Lining so that I don't Totally Freak Out and Lose my Sh**
In fairness, I have been unusually calm since Jake got laid off. For the most part, of course. I've allowed myself at least a couple of freak outs. (I crave financial stability and it's been a really tight year for us. I can easily go down the rabbit hole of fear if I let myself.) My immediate reaction was panic, of course. But when I got over the shock and had time to breathe and think, I realized that this whole scenario was going to give us the opportunity to think more creatively about how our family might function. You see, we would NEVER leave a job willingly. But a door closing unexpectedly left us wondering about all the other doors we might open instead.
The long and short of it is this: we've been trying to figure out how to afford baby #2. Now, baby #2 is not inherently expensive; feeding, clothing, diapering, and providing all necessary goods for baby #2 is the easy part. Paying for childcare for a toddler and an infant? Now, that's a whole other beast. In case you were wondering, to put two littles in formal childcare for just three and a half days a week would cost more than our mortgage payment. It would be almost as much as Jake's former salary. In other words--absolutely brutal and, quite simply, totally unrealistic for us financially. We are already pretty much stretched to the limit as it is.
So, the path we were on up until December was really not going to work for us in the short or long-term... unless we wanted to wait until Lyla is in kindergarten to have another baby (NOPE). So while getting laid off is less than ideal, being pushed into figuring out plan B was probably really good for us.
That said, we're kind of excited (and a little scared, too) about what the future might hold. Fortunately, I carry benefits for the whole family, so Jake does not need them through his employer. Which means we can be totally flexible with part or full time work. Our ultimate goal is to reduce the amount of childcare we need pretty significantly to cut back on childcare costs, and have more time at home with our kid(s). The trade off will be a little less time with each other, but we'll make it work.
In the short-term, we're loving having one stay-at-home parent! Jake has been extra helpful at home (yay for this mama!) and Lyla is totally loving it. I'm off on Fridays, so now we get extra long weekends together. In my dream world, I would be able to support us financially so that we could just keep that going for the long-term, but we will sure enjoy it while it lasts.
I've talked about it here before, but we have gone through some very, very (nauseatingly) charmed seasons of life. This particular season is certainly challenging and less charming. But nobody is sick. Nobody is dying. Nobody is getting divorced. We are FINE. A little stressed, a little uncertain, stretched financially (and a bit emotionally) for sure. But we will be ok. The world is not going to end just because we are down a salary. Soon enough, there will be a new season.
Hopefully that new season includes a baby. A sweet, sweet new baby... and likely much less sleep. You can't have it all, you know :).
In fairness, I have been unusually calm since Jake got laid off. For the most part, of course. I've allowed myself at least a couple of freak outs. (I crave financial stability and it's been a really tight year for us. I can easily go down the rabbit hole of fear if I let myself.) My immediate reaction was panic, of course. But when I got over the shock and had time to breathe and think, I realized that this whole scenario was going to give us the opportunity to think more creatively about how our family might function. You see, we would NEVER leave a job willingly. But a door closing unexpectedly left us wondering about all the other doors we might open instead.
The long and short of it is this: we've been trying to figure out how to afford baby #2. Now, baby #2 is not inherently expensive; feeding, clothing, diapering, and providing all necessary goods for baby #2 is the easy part. Paying for childcare for a toddler and an infant? Now, that's a whole other beast. In case you were wondering, to put two littles in formal childcare for just three and a half days a week would cost more than our mortgage payment. It would be almost as much as Jake's former salary. In other words--absolutely brutal and, quite simply, totally unrealistic for us financially. We are already pretty much stretched to the limit as it is.
So, the path we were on up until December was really not going to work for us in the short or long-term... unless we wanted to wait until Lyla is in kindergarten to have another baby (NOPE). So while getting laid off is less than ideal, being pushed into figuring out plan B was probably really good for us.
That said, we're kind of excited (and a little scared, too) about what the future might hold. Fortunately, I carry benefits for the whole family, so Jake does not need them through his employer. Which means we can be totally flexible with part or full time work. Our ultimate goal is to reduce the amount of childcare we need pretty significantly to cut back on childcare costs, and have more time at home with our kid(s). The trade off will be a little less time with each other, but we'll make it work.
In the short-term, we're loving having one stay-at-home parent! Jake has been extra helpful at home (yay for this mama!) and Lyla is totally loving it. I'm off on Fridays, so now we get extra long weekends together. In my dream world, I would be able to support us financially so that we could just keep that going for the long-term, but we will sure enjoy it while it lasts.
I've talked about it here before, but we have gone through some very, very (nauseatingly) charmed seasons of life. This particular season is certainly challenging and less charming. But nobody is sick. Nobody is dying. Nobody is getting divorced. We are FINE. A little stressed, a little uncertain, stretched financially (and a bit emotionally) for sure. But we will be ok. The world is not going to end just because we are down a salary. Soon enough, there will be a new season.
Hopefully that new season includes a baby. A sweet, sweet new baby... and likely much less sleep. You can't have it all, you know :).
Nice perspective Casey!! I'm excited to see what happens to you all soon. Baby/new jobs etc.. it is going to be good :).
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